Deck Review: Miss Cleo's Tarot Power Deck Video
01/22/02 - Valerie Sim

as seen in Miss Cleo's Tarot Power Deck
Copyright
©2001 Radar Communications
Inspired by Miss Cleo
Booklet Co-Authored by L. Thomas Trosclair
Cards Designed and Illustrated by J. F. Lambert
Cards Colored by Seth Stephens
$29.95

Introduction
Loving Mark's review of the Miss Cleo deck, spurred on by the stimulating discussion of Miss Cleo's new promotional package in general, and as per my duty as a reviewer, I damned the torpedoes and walked into Walgreen's and bought the "Tarot Power Deck and Video." I might have indirectly handed Access Resources $29.95 for the kit, but dang me if they'll get that exorbitant $9.95 handling fee !

Best of all, at LEAST 670+ of my best net friends will find out (at no charge) how I truly feel about the video. Those of you that feel that an honest review of a poor product is *negativity*, please plug your ears!

Some Issues Up Front
I feel that a reviewer is duty-bound not to sugar coat opinions, and consider this post to be a public service. First of all, the fact that Mark and I have purchased this kit at an actual Walgreen's store proves false advertising on the part of the parent company, Access Resources. The website clearly states "These cards are not available in any stores." Anyone else have a problem with this, or am I a purist?

The kit itself is copyrighted 2001 by Radar Communications, Inc. A Google search turned up this link associated with Radar Communications. This site appears to be a sort of script for employees to sell and/or read to callers, even including instructions for blocked numbers! I was unable to quickly trace the relationship of Radar Communications back to Access Resources, but anyone wanna bet on a search with greater persistence?

The Deck
I agree with almost everything Mark had to say about the cards included in the kit. They are definitely RWS meets faux-Egyptian, but they are neither unreadable, nor are they even as bad as several other decks currently on the market. I am forced to admit that anyone versed in RWS or a good clone will be able to read accurately from this deck right out of the box.

The Video
Beware, though, of the LWB and the video which opens with Miss Cleo herself saying: "Well, go on, babees!" This video is a full-color glimpse par excellence of what is only hinted at in the LWB. This is the Miss Cleo we have all grown to know and... well, to know!

This video was my first chance to identify the fact that Miss Cleo must have a Celtic ancestor. Listen carefully and you will hear a brogue mixed into those dulcet Jamaican tones.

Section One: History
Who better to talk Tarot history to us than the venerable Miss Cleo? In this segment we are informed that Tarot can be traced to ancient Egypt and that a religion dedicated to such was practiced there more than 3,000 years ago. Cleo tells us that the Gods communicated via the cards in order to predict the future.

She goes on to admit that the "first deck surfaced" during the Renaissance but informs us that ruling kings and queens routinely got readings, and that the commoners soon clamored for readings as well. Really?

Section Two: Shuffling
Though Cleo admits that there is no one correct way to shuffle, she does say that "once, twice, or even three times" is good. Comically enough, the video shows a standard poker shuffle and fancy Vegas back-riffle as she is speaking.

Section Three: Card Meanings
Cleo refers to "natural" and "reversed" (R) cards and goes on to explain the meanings of the Major Arcana. Here are a few of my Cleonian favorites:

  • Magician - illness; physical pain

  • Hierophant (R) - people taken advantage of

  • Lovers (R) - silliness

  • Hermit - betrayal

  • Wheel - increase in money & resources

  • Hanged Man - greed

  • Death - complete destruction; literal physical death

  • Death (R) - the inability to sleep

  • Devil - death by violence

  • Star - sense of loss

  • Star (R) - conceit

  • Judgement - promotion and results

  • World - journey by water

Section Four: Suits
Miss Cleo defines the suits as follows:

  • Staffs [shouldn't that be Staves?] - everyday struggles in our lives

  • Cups - emotional fruits of our labors and tangible benefits

  • Swords - emotional struggles resulting in judgment

  • Coins - increase of money, property and family

Section Five: Card Spreads
Here we really start to see the Miss Cleo that we have watched numerous times before on late night TV. Her "Four Door Spread" is the one we are usually treated to on the telly.

To tell you the truth, I would have no problem with this spread IF Cleo knew the correct meanings of the cards and/or their relationship to each other. But watching the video shows you that this non-expert simply needs lots of cards to weave a plausible story for her gullible querent, which is only VERY loosely based on the real significance of the cards.

Cleo instructs the viewer to shuffle and separate the cards into 4 stacks, allowing the cuts to happen naturally. Stacks are laid out in a straight line from left to right.

In her on-camera demonstration, Cleo draws the following cards: Queen of Swords, 2 of Staffs, Page of Swords (R), Sun (R).

She begins to ramble with something about the Queen of Swords being a strong lady, but then mentions that there are "surprises going on" as illustrated by the 2 of Staffs. My favorite line in the whole video comes next when she looks at the four cards and says: "Well, this is just a little confusing, but we know what we are talking about here," at which point she rapidly turns over 4 more cards and lays them under the first four!!!

The next four cards are: Page of Cups 6, Knight of Cups 7, Page of Staffs 8, 5 of Cups. Not once does Cleo address the fact that she has three Pages in 8 cards, only one Major, or a complete absence of Coins. Her take is an instantaneous "This Queen of Swords has too many boyfriends!" She then stops abruptly to make the dramatic pronouncement that, "Truth is dimensional, my dears! It is not one dimensionsal." Er, thanks, Cleo And that was important WHY?

Cleo's Interpretations
She had me rolling on the floor when she continued with, "Two brethren look pretty good, but two I no trust!" She amplified her verdict with the statement that "one of these bros" had a drinking problem because of the fact that she always "laments" to find that the 5 of Cups indicates alcohol or drug abuse.

Cleo then expounds at some length on her ability to treat a tarot reading as a puzzle at which she is aptly trained to assemble the pieces. She's a story-teller all right, but I don't think I would ever stretch to call her a reader.

Next Cleo goes into a Cleonian version of the 3 Card Past-Present-Future spread followed by the Celtic Cross. Nothing new here. Nothing particularly entertaining except for when a card falls out of the deck while she is shuffling for her Celtic Cross. When the card falls, she admits that it should be included, but then sweeps it under the rug underneath position two in the Cross without any sort of satisfying interpretation!

This video goes a long way towards explaining the dramatic readings a la Cleo, complete with more sizzling sex and hidden danger than your average tarot reading. Miss Cleo does everything with flair and a certain panache, if not professionalism. Her absence of a true affinity for the cards is compensated for by her sense of drama and her folksey gift of gab.

Originally, I had pegged Miss Cleo as an actress hired outside of the company and scripted for the role. After watching the video several times I am inclined to think that Access Resources probably hired within and selected someone who could both act(?) and pass as a tarot reader (by their standards) in spontaneous readings. She gets just enough right to be scary. She is familiar enough with tarot catch-phrases to fool the gullible.

Last point: Four different times during the video there is a reference to the 900 number and its "staff of experts."

Valerie Sim - shamnaar@aol.com

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