Deck Review: Miss Cleo's Tarot
Power Deck Video
01/22/02 - Valerie
Simas seen in Miss Cleo's
Tarot Power Deck
Copyright ©2001
Radar Communications
Inspired by Miss Cleo
Booklet Co-Authored by L. Thomas Trosclair
Cards Designed and Illustrated by J. F. Lambert
Cards Colored by Seth Stephens
$29.95
Introduction
Loving Mark's review of the Miss Cleo deck, spurred on by the
stimulating discussion of Miss Cleo's new promotional package in
general, and as per my duty as a reviewer, I damned the torpedoes and
walked into Walgreen's and bought the "Tarot Power Deck and Video." I
might have indirectly handed Access Resources $29.95 for the kit, but
dang me if they'll get that exorbitant $9.95 handling fee
!
Best of all, at LEAST
670+ of my best net friends will find out (at no charge) how I truly
feel about the video. Those of you that feel that an honest review of
a poor product is *negativity*, please plug your ears!
Some Issues Up Front
I feel that a reviewer is duty-bound not to sugar coat opinions, and
consider this post to be a public service. First of all, the fact that
Mark and I have purchased this kit at an actual Walgreen's store
proves false advertising on the part of the parent company, Access
Resources. The website clearly states
"These cards are not available in any stores."
Anyone else have a problem with this, or am I a purist?
The kit itself is
copyrighted 2001 by Radar Communications, Inc. A Google search turned
up
this link associated with Radar Communications. This site appears
to be a sort of script for employees to sell and/or read to callers,
even including instructions for blocked numbers! I was unable to
quickly trace the relationship of Radar Communications back to Access
Resources, but anyone wanna bet on a search with greater persistence?
The Deck
I agree with almost everything Mark had to
say about the cards included in the kit. They are definitely RWS
meets faux-Egyptian, but they are neither unreadable, nor are they
even as bad as several other decks currently on the market. I am
forced to admit that anyone versed in RWS or a good clone will be able
to read accurately from this deck right out of the box.
The Video
Beware, though, of the LWB and the video which opens with Miss Cleo
herself saying: "Well, go on, babees!" This video is a full-color
glimpse par excellence of what is only hinted at in the LWB. This is
the Miss Cleo we have all grown to know and... well, to know!
This video was my first
chance to identify the fact that Miss Cleo must have a Celtic
ancestor. Listen carefully and you will hear a brogue mixed into those
dulcet Jamaican tones.
Section One: History
Who better to talk Tarot history to us than the venerable Miss Cleo?
In this segment we are informed that Tarot can be traced to ancient
Egypt and that a religion dedicated to such was practiced there more
than 3,000 years ago. Cleo tells us that the Gods communicated via the
cards in order to predict the future.
She goes on to admit
that the "first deck surfaced" during the Renaissance but informs us
that ruling kings and queens routinely got readings, and that the
commoners soon clamored for readings as well. Really?
Section Two: Shuffling
Though Cleo admits that there is no one correct way to shuffle, she
does say that "once, twice, or even three times" is good. Comically
enough, the video shows a standard poker shuffle and fancy Vegas
back-riffle as she is speaking.
Section Three: Card Meanings
Cleo refers to "natural" and "reversed" (R) cards and goes on to
explain the meanings of the Major Arcana. Here are a few of my
Cleonian favorites:
-
Magician - illness;
physical pain
-
Hierophant (R) -
people taken advantage of
-
Lovers (R) - silliness
-
Hermit - betrayal
-
Wheel - increase in
money & resources
-
Hanged Man - greed
-
Death - complete
destruction; literal physical death
-
Death (R) - the
inability to sleep
-
Devil - death by
violence
-
Star - sense of loss
-
Star (R) - conceit
-
Judgement - promotion
and results
-
World - journey by
water
Section Four: Suits
Miss Cleo defines the suits as follows:
-
Staffs [shouldn't that
be Staves?] - everyday struggles in our lives
-
Cups - emotional
fruits of our labors and tangible benefits
-
Swords - emotional
struggles resulting in judgment
-
Coins - increase of
money, property and family
Section Five: Card Spreads
Here we really start to see the Miss Cleo that we have watched
numerous times before on late night TV. Her "Four Door Spread" is the
one we are usually treated to on the telly.
To tell you the truth, I
would have no problem with this spread IF Cleo knew the correct
meanings of the cards and/or their relationship to each other. But
watching the video shows you that this non-expert simply needs lots of
cards to weave a plausible story for her gullible querent, which is
only VERY loosely based on the real significance of the cards.
Cleo instructs the
viewer to shuffle and separate the cards into 4 stacks, allowing the
cuts to happen naturally. Stacks are laid out in a straight line from
left to right.
In her on-camera
demonstration, Cleo draws the following cards: Queen of Swords, 2 of
Staffs, Page of Swords (R), Sun (R).
She begins to ramble
with something about the Queen of Swords being a strong lady, but then
mentions that there are "surprises going on" as illustrated by the 2
of Staffs. My favorite line in the whole video comes next when she
looks at the four cards and says: "Well, this is just a little
confusing, but we know what we are talking about here," at which point
she rapidly turns over 4 more cards and lays them under the first
four!!!
The next four cards are:
Page of Cups 6, Knight of Cups 7, Page of Staffs 8, 5 of Cups. Not
once does Cleo address the fact that she has three Pages in 8 cards,
only one Major, or a complete absence of Coins. Her take is an
instantaneous "This Queen of Swords has too many boyfriends!" She then
stops abruptly to make the dramatic pronouncement that, "Truth is
dimensional, my dears! It is not one dimensionsal." Er, thanks, Cleo
And that was important WHY?
Cleo's Interpretations
She had me rolling on the floor when she continued with, "Two brethren
look pretty good, but two I no trust!" She amplified her verdict with
the statement that "one of these bros" had a drinking problem because
of the fact that she always "laments" to find that the 5 of Cups
indicates alcohol or drug abuse.
Cleo then expounds at
some length on her ability to treat a tarot reading as a puzzle at
which she is aptly trained to assemble the pieces. She's a
story-teller all right, but I don't think I would ever stretch to call
her a reader.
Next Cleo goes into a
Cleonian version of the 3 Card Past-Present-Future spread followed by
the Celtic Cross. Nothing new here. Nothing particularly entertaining
except for when a card falls out of the deck while she is shuffling
for her Celtic Cross. When the card falls, she admits that it should
be included, but then sweeps it under the rug underneath position two
in the Cross without any sort of satisfying interpretation!
This video goes a long
way towards explaining the dramatic readings a la Cleo, complete with
more sizzling sex and hidden danger than your average tarot reading.
Miss Cleo does everything with flair and a certain panache, if not
professionalism. Her absence of a true affinity for the cards is
compensated for by her sense of drama and her folksey gift of gab.
Originally, I had pegged
Miss Cleo as an actress hired outside of the company and scripted for
the role. After watching the video several times I am inclined to
think that Access Resources probably hired within and selected someone
who could both act(?) and pass as a tarot reader (by their standards)
in spontaneous readings. She gets just enough right to be scary. She
is familiar enough with tarot catch-phrases to fool the gullible.
Last point: Four
different times during the video there is a reference to the 900
number and its "staff of experts."
Valerie Sim -
shamnaar@aol.com
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